


Unrequited

by FuentesR3825



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Character Death, Gay, I cried writing this, Jeremy/Michael - Freeform, Kindasad, M/M, MalexMale, Post-Squip, Random 3rd person pov, The 3rd person pov may or may not be a character in the musical..., Unrequited, michael/jeremy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 07:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15310218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuentesR3825/pseuds/FuentesR3825
Summary: This is a story about a love that almost didn’t last. It is a story that I choose to help me up in the morning. A story that ALMOST tore me down, don’t worry about me. I’m not important in this story. I’m just a lone background character that will tell you the story of two very important people. Like all good narrators do, let’s get started, shall we?





	Unrequited

This story is bumpy. I still don’t know how it ends, or how it will work! I wasn’t around long enough to see it happen. I am only a bystander in all of this, I just watched it all unfold before my eyes. Which I learn later is actually the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. That standing and watching everything happen is the worst thing to do.

Although I want to say I had no control over anything, I know I could’ve. I will explain everything at the end, as I used to use this story as a reason to not want to get out of bed anymore, then I realized that a love this strong shouldn’t be a reason to make me not want to get up in the morning.

I don’t want to spoil too much, so I will save my little ‘inspirational’ speech to the end. Since I am going to be a good story teller I will tell you all of it from the beginning. So let’s pretend we’re actually in the moment. As if all of this didn’t already happen.

“Michael!” I turn around and see a boy running up to his (I’m assuming) friends locker, he looks excited about something. Well, obviously he practically screamed his friends name in the hallway, newsflash! Inside voices people.

I’ve seen them around before, they are both fairly attractive, but not my type. A boy with darker skin and framed glasses looks at where the voice is coming from and immediately smiles when he sees the source behind it.

Now that I think about it that boy, so called “Michael” always wears that same red hoodie. It’s somehow a very calming characteristic. Very homey, easy to remember him. I avert my eyes to the boy that called Michaels name. He is very skinny, and really tall. He could tower over me in a second, but then again it wouldn’t be very difficult I’m fairly shor- sorry, this story isn’t about me. It’s about them.

“Jeremy!” Just as I was about to look away I saw something as soon as Michael turned his whole body to face Jeremy. Since I was a couple lockers away to the left of Jeremy’s, Jeremy’s back was facing me and I got a clear view of Michaels expression when looking at Jeremy. I looked for a second, startled at the sudden sound of Michaels voice but then quickly do a double take.

I look at Michael once more, I could see his eyes radiating with warmth, there was something else in his eyes that I couldn’t put my finger on at the time. But now it is easy to see what it was. Although I couldn’t see Jeremy’s expression I assumed he was making the same sort of look as Michael, the same dopey smile.

The more i stared at Michael the more i realized how much affection was in his gaze towards Jeremy, I almost couldn’t bring myself to look away. My gaze was tarnished when I heard someone whisper something about me being a stalker. Then my focus was quickly obscured and I finally put my books in my locker and walked away.

The gaze Michael gives Jeremy will always be something that sticks with me. I can’t help but to smile whenever I think about the admiration in Michaels eyes whenever he looks at Jeremy. The next day it was all I could think about, how beautiful of a connection those two had, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I only saw one side, I was a little worried to be honest.

I was worried thatJeremy did not have the same admiration and interest as Michael did for him. I was determined to see how Jeremy looked at Michael, when I say it out loud it sounds so weird, but you have to look at it from my point of view.

This story is getting a little more personal than I wanted it to, but... let’s just say I was never really accustomed to having friends, or having a proper family, so I did not know what was a normal look for other people to have towards each other, so I knew that Michaels gaze was special, but I did not know how it was so different compared to how other people looked at each other.

The next day the two meet at their usual spot, and begin talking facing each other as there lockers are very close together. I go to the other side from where I was standing previously and take a look at Jeremy’s eyes, I was excited to see Jeremy’s blue eyes mirror the same warmth and admiration in his eyes, but when I looked... it didn’t look exactly the same...

At this point I was beyond confused. Michael looked at Jeremy like he would take a bullet for him, but when I looked at Jeremy’s eyes they did not look like Michaels. I felt my heart drop. I was in denial thinking stuff like ‘Maybe Michael looks at everyone like this.’ But when I saw him talking to his other friends he did not look at them the same as he did with Jeremy.

I was mildly upset, although I still didn’t understand what that look was, I still couldn’t help but to feel like it was bad. I kept busy with my school activities and homework and such, but when I was left alone with my thoughts my mind would always wander back to the subject of Michaels eyes, why did they look at Jeremy that way? And why did Jeremy not do the same?

One restless night I had enough. I got out of bed and went straight to my desk, I powered on the laptop sitting on it and quickly went to safari, and looked up “Warm eyes filled with admiration.” I didn’t get anything from that, just random articles about fires, and Smokey bear.

I thought for a moment, but this time through Michaels eyes and using a very broad perspective. “My best friend doesn’t admire me.” A bunch of articles came up about their best friend not loving them back. I was taken aback, of course I knew what love was. But I never thought of that as a possibility. The more I thought about it I felt like it fit so much with the situation at hand.

But that would mean Jeremy does not admire- er... love Michael. My heart really did feel like it was breaking, the more I thought about Michaels position the more I realized how tragic it was, after looking up numerous definitions on the word love I started tearing up. Looking at quotes of unrequited love. Feeling Michaels pain. I didn’t even know them, but I could still feel the pain in Michaels admiration.

From that day forward whenever I looked at Michaels gaze I would always look a little further and deeper than usual, I saw so many emotions in those dark eyes of his, love being the most prominent, I could feel warmth, and if I looked closely enough I could see... sadness...

Over the course of a few weeks I noticed Michaels expression getting sadder everyday. Though whenever I looked at Jeremy’s face it seemed to be getting even happier everyday, though I noticed it didn’t happen when he looked at Michael but at someone else.

Soon enough a girl started appearing everyday to say a quick hello to both boys. She was beautiful, and looked perfect. Whenever Michael looked at the girl he looked so broken and hopeless, the girl almost had the same expression as Michael did for Jeremy. The key word here is _almost_.

The more I looked at the way people looked at each other the more i compared it to Michaels gaze, when I looked even closer this time at their body language. Jeremy always kept to himself when around other people, even Michael.

Michael would once in a while reach his hand out in front of him having his fingers almost brush against Jeremy’s, but pull away just in time. Jeremy’s and the girls body language was very touchy, like they couldn’t stop touching each other. I also noticed that whenever that girl was around Michael would look anywhere but directly in their eyes.

As a few more weeks went by I noticed Jeremy didn’t talk to Michael as much. There was the casual hello sinse their lockers were close, but now Jeremy just hurried off in search of someone else.

Everyday this happened, and everyday my heart would break more and more as Michaels eyes would become more and more hopeless, he looked broken. I felt helpless, I couldn’t do anything, what would I say?

“Hey, I’ve been watching you since the start of the school year, I know you’re in love with your best friend. Hope things get better!”

Although now that I think about it, it probably would have been better if I stepped in and helped Michael with his emotions, although what do I know about emotions..?

One day I saw Jeremy run up to Michael like old times sake. It made me so happy to see the bright smile return on Michaels face and see his eyes crinkle into a real genuine smile. I eavesdropped on their conversation.

“Hey player two!”

Although I wasn’t looking I could tell how much Jeremy saying that hurt Michael, knowing he would never feel the same way or understand. “Wait, why am I player two..? It’s my console! And everyone knows I’m better than you at smash.”

They playfully argue for almost a minute, it brought a smile to my face as I tried hiding my expression inside my locker so I didn’t look toooo weird. “Micheal, can I come over? We can play games again. For old times sake!” Jeremy punches Michael in the shoulder. I didn’t want to miss the face Michael did when Jeremy told him this, Michael looked so happy, he couldn’t contain his smile even if he tried.

“I’ll take that as a yes..?” Jeremy looked at michael eagerly nod his head yes, and confirmed the time as 8 o’clock. I remember being so happy when I figured this out, in my French class I was jumping up and down in my seat out of excitement. They were finally talking again! No more awkward hallway hello’s!

When I went to bed that night I felt hope! In this day and age I saw so many chances for love! Michael was finally able to get what he wanted! Usually this kind of thing is taboo, when I see them talking, or when I see Michaels face when even just talking about Jeremy, I knew there was hope! They would make it! They would give inspiration to so many others to achieve what people labeled as filthy, or disgusting! It gave a good ol middle finger to the world and its beliefs. I went to sleep thinking of all the possibilities of the following day. The next day I practically skipped to my locker, waiting for Michael and Jeremy to walk down the hall hand in hand.

Instead what I saw was Michael with a broken expression, faint tear stains on his cheeks and the bags under his eyes more prominent than ever. He looked over at Jeremy’s locker and his eyes immediately began to tremble, his bottom lip quivering.

I looked around the hallway for any sign of Jeremy. When I saw him, he had a stride, and a look of confidence. The girl that usually came by their lockers to say her morning hello was walking by his side, their hands interlocked.

“Babe, let me get something from my locker real quick! I’ll see you in drama!” They exchanged a quick goodbye as she walked off to her class. Michael heard Jeremy’s voice and immediately wiped his tears away pretending to look for something deep in his locker. Jeremy’s face went from a wide smile to a look of sympathy. He slowly approached his locker and took something out and quickly closed it.

Michael looked even further into his locker as if looking for something, but I knew he was just trying to hide his face. His hands were balled into a fist, he brought one fist up about to punch the locker, but stopped himself.

Supposedly not wanting to cause a scene. He took his backpack out of his locker and stared at it trying to read something on it, I was brought out of my fascination by kids screaming and running in the hallway. It was now apparent that almost no one was in the hallway. All hurried off to their next class. He apparently noticed as well.

He also looked around and saw that it was just the two of us. He looked at me and saw I was staring at him. I looked deeply into his eyes, looking for any ounce of happiness. But even after looking at him face to face all I could see was heartbreak, loneliness, and sadness. I wanted to open up to him about everything. All the things I thought about him and Jeremy. Even things I was going through. Although I was never in the same situation as he, I could still mildly relate to some things he was feeling.

I couldn’t help myself, I took a step forward and hugged him. He was freaked out beyond words. But it felt like he needed it. Michael broke down into sobs putting his chin atop my head, digging his face into my hair. I rubbed his back, whilst whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Telling him things would get better. “I don’t understand.”

“Twelve fucking years!” “He leaves me for someone he barely knows! I don’t mean anything!”

Michael began saying sentences that wouldn’t make much sense to someone he just met, but I understood what he meant. I could feel the pain he was going through. The bell rung 5 minutes before our embrace, but we ignored it. It would probably look weird to anyone else to see two dudes embracing in the hallway while one cry’s into the others hair. When it seemed like he was done, and all the tears were gone he let go of me.

I gave him one more squeeze before letting him go. He stared at me with the same broken eyes. He looked me up and down taking in the features of the random guy who hugged him in the hallway. He nods his head in my direction, before taking one last sniffle as we were now arms length apart. He looks at me with his bloodshot eyes before saying a sincere

“Thank you.”

He takes his backpack and leaves. Goes straight out the backdoor of the school, I continue with my day, and walk into class late ignoring the questions from my teacher earning me detention. I chose not to listen or participate in my classes all day.

My heart felt broken. I didn’t want to feel anything, if that’s what happened for Michael, Jeremy’s best friend of twelve years, what could happen to me? I couldn’t help but ponder the subject. I didn’t eat anything. Not seeing the point in doing anything. I looked across the cafeteria and saw Jeremy cuddled up with a girl, in a table filled with all of his new friends.

I looked around the lunch room for Michael, but he was nowhere to be found.

The next day Michael wasn’t there either. Jeremy went to his locker to get something, or so I thought. Jeremy’s wasn’t going to his own locker, he was just simply staring at Michaels. He touched Michaels locker with a soft touch. I looked at Jeremy from a side perspective and saw a tear run down his cheek. He rested his forehead on Michaels Locker. Standing there just staring at it. I could hear him whisper sentences to it.

“I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t mean for this to happen!”

“I... I love you...”

People that passed by were staring at Jeremy, and patting his back. The girl who I recognized from the lunch table came up to give him a hug, but he quickly turned around and told her to go away.

She nodded in understanding and walked away. “Just give him some time.” I heard her whisper to one of her friends with sympathetic eyes. What’s going on..? Why is he so sad? Where’s Michael..???

These thoughts plagued my mind each day Michael was gone from school. I saw Jeremy getting continuously worse as his eyes looked more bloodshot everyday, stinging with loss. The girl soon stopped talking to him. Whenever she looked at Jeremy she would look sad and forgotten.

Friends were always standing by Jeremy’s side helping him through his unwritten sadness, from what I heard, everyone made sure that he was with someone at all times. I could tell it made him worse. I once again didn’t say anything.

It had been a few weeks since Michael had stopped coming to school. There wasn’t a friend next to Jeremy today. I once again was looking at his expression. His eyes were filled with dread and sadness, and loneliness.

I compare them to how Michaels eyes were before, I notice some similar characteristics. Like the tiny hint of sadness that was always in Michaels eyes whenever he looked at Jeremy. I looked at Jeremy’s eyes thoroughly. I could also see love. Just like what was in Michaels eyes at one point. He looks at Michaels locker setting his forehead against it.

“I miss you. I’ll see you soon enough. Forgive me.”

I looked at Jeremy with wide eyes. He turned his head towards me to see my reaction. He lightly chuckled.

“It’s you.”

I looked at him confused. He was taking to me. What does he mean “it’s you”? He must have saw the confusion in my eyes.

“you’re the guy who always looks at us in the hallway. You always had this dreaming look on your face. I never understood why you would always look at us. I’m still not sure I know the reason.”

He looked back at the locker and gave it a soft touch, his eyes filled with remembrance. He once again did a grim chuckle.

“You and I both could have stopped this. You knew how he felt about me since day one. But you just watched!” His voice rose to a shout. “Was this fun for you??? Did you have fun watching your show unfold?!”

His eyes were flooded with tears when he finished. His talking turned into choked sobs and words that I couldn’t understand. He collapsed on his knees in the floor with his head in his hands. Repeatedly asking seemingly no one why they did it.

“Why would you leave me here alone.”

“I should’ve been there when you needed me, instead i sat back and let you do this...”

As he was saying this he was looking up to the sky. His hands were no longer covering his face and his hands were balled into fists now hitting the ground. He was scream crying and would’ve caught the attention of teachers, so I rushed in and took his wrists and made him look me in the eye.

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know he was going to do this! None of this is your fault! It was his own choice!” He looked at me with hopelessness, his eyes were beyond bloodshot. Tears were silently making their way down his face as he looked at me. It took him almost thirty seconds for him to process everything I was saying.

His eyes were looking directly at me. Like he was looking for something, an answer. His fists slowly unclamped as I was holding his wrists, his head looked towards the ground lightly sobbing. I slowly let go of his wrists as he kept his eyes focused on the ground. All of a sudden he pounces on me and pulls me into a hug on the floor. Harshly crying into my shoulder.

“You don’t get it. He was my everything.” When he said that all the tears I was holding back came out as we sobbed into each other’s arms.

“I know.” We sat there in the hallway thinking about Michael and everything he stood for. All the love he had in our hearts, taken away in the blink of an eye. When he stopped sobbing he asked me out of the blue.

“Why did you stare at us?” I looked at him with a smile as I remembered Michaels gaze, and his smile.

“It was because you and Michaels friendship was so strong. It was so beautiful. It’s still beautiful. I was hypnotized by the way Michael would look at you. The love he felt for you was so strong. It was amazing. It made me feel like even I could love.”

Jeremy looked at me with a sad smile unable to cry any more.

“I realized I loved him too late.”

He was looking past me into nothing. Remembering all of Michael. All his memories, hopes, and dreams. “I miss him. So much...” We sat there staring at seemingly nothing, just remembering michael. His beautiful gaze. When he decided that he’d be ok he attempted to stand up but wobbled a little. I helped Jeremy by, grabbing his hand and pulling him up.

When we were both up he quickly gave me one final hug. During this final embrace he whispered in my ear a thank you. Just when I thought he would go out the door the way Michael had he turned around and thanked me one last time. Looked down and went to class.

5 minutes later the bell rung and students came pouring out of their classrooms. I saw a familiar face in the crowd, it was the girl that did her daily hellos. I ran up to her trying to get through the crowd, I tried remembering the name Jeremy gave me. What was it?? “Christine!” She quickly turned around, confused and asked me what I needed.

She was walking with her friends and all three girls stopped to see what was going on. I told them everything. About Jeremy’s words, about how he felt about Michael. And how he almost went out the door like I had let Michael. Their faces had concern on them as a girl with blonde hair was on the verge of tears, hiding in her other friends arms.

Christine looked at me with a smile, and hugged me as tightly as she could muster.

“Thank you for telling us.”

Although she was keeping her cool her voice was wavering and her eyes looked as if she was about to cry. As they were about to run off to (I’m assuming) find Jeremy she looked at me one last time and asked me

“What’s your name?”

Oh yeah, throughout this whole ordeal I forgot I even had a name. It didn’t seem important right now, but I can’t be rude, so I answered. Huh, I guess my name does matter after all. “It’s Rich.”

She thanked me one last time and ran off to catch up with her friends. That’s all I know for right now. I don’t know if he ever did get better, or if he just got worst,

this is my side of the story. My take on a love truly beautiful. A love that I think about everyday. I used to think of it as a reason to never want love, a reason to hate myself each day. A reason to avoid love as much as I could if Jeremy and Michaels love didn’t last. But now as I tell you this story I realize, their love never died. It grew.

 It continued to blossom each day. This proves how every little thing you do has an effect. Even though neither person knew me I was still affected each day by them. Those two are certainly special. And their love will always be my reason for getting up in the morning. My reason for doing any of this. I know my love is out there, whenever I think of how Jeremy looked at Michaels locker, when he thought his love died or how Michael would look at Jeremy everyday, with that same affection, or Michaels broken expression when he thought he lost everything. I remember how sad Jeremy was when Michael left, for all you know you could be affecting someone just like how those two affected me.

They taught me so much, and they didn’t even know. They taught me how to hold on to someone each day, and cherish them even when I cannot hold onto them. That is my take on Michael and Jeremy . My reason to get out of bed. My reason of wanting to love again.


End file.
